Skip to main content

September 11

It's been eighteen years and the world has changed, in some aspects completely. We have it seems, been actively entangled in the aftermath of that day as a country and even a world ever since. And we will remain in its grip for the foreseeable future; likely for the rest of my life.
I wonder if those whose loved ones - whose reasons for living, it must have seemed to some - were incinerated in an instant, whose bodies were obliterated immediately after falling more than ninety floors, or who were found mangled in, under, and around the rubble, or in a field - I wonder if they watch the news today? Do they view their newsfeeds?
Are the memories still too hard, too raw, too immediate? Does today bring soul-piercing memories not just to their minds, but to their bodies? Do the incredulity, the shock, the panic, the numbness flood back today? Does the confusion return, do their hearts weigh a million pounds, do their guts turn inside out like they did on that day?
I wonder.
Do they stay indoors? Do they hold each other's hands, do they hold each other? Do they stay in bed? Do they cry - do they sob? Do they gaze at photographs and smile? Do they get drunk? Do they pray?
I wonder.
How does it feel to have an entire country recall your tragedy? To have your agonizing loss be the news of the day? Do they want to say, "yes, thank you, but I'd rather be by myself today?"
I wonder.
On this memorial day, there aren't happy kids in parks, backyard barbecues, parades, flags, or marching bands. No, today there will be black crepe, lists of names, and terrible images of reminders - as their neighbors go to work, just like any other day. Do they feel alone?
I wonder.
Has the anger dissipated, has it mellowed into resolve, resolve to love deeper, to hold tighter, to live more fully than before? Or has it deteriorated into bitterness, into distancing, into resignation?
I wonder.
Have the clouds even parted yet, has the fog lifted, can they see further than the next hour? Have these years flown by or have they taken forever - have they somehow done both?
I wonder.
Image may contain: sky and outdoor

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Freewheeling

Merton never disappoints. Here's an excerpt from "Love and Living," a collection of individual writings collected after his death in 1968: "Life consists in learning to live on one's own, spontaneous, freewheeling; to do this one must recognize what is one's own—be familiar and at home with oneself. This means basically learning who one is, and learning what one has to offer to the contemporary world, and then learning how to make that offering valid." This short passage is pregnant with meaning and spiritual insight (would we expect anything less?). Let's start with the last few words: "…make that offering valid." The offering of ourselves, of our lives is our calling. We offer ourselves to assist the re-creation of Creation; the reconciling of Man to God. The validity of our offering is measured in how closely we mirror the work of God; to what extent our motivations are based on knowing who we are rather than a slavish obedience to p...

Wineskins II

       In chapter 16 of Matthew, Peter ‘makes the great confession’ - Jesus he says is the Son of the Living God. At Covenant, when someone wants to become a member or to be baptized, we ask them who Jesus is and we expect this response. Peter is correct when he says this, but it is not clear that Peter (or the other disciples) understood the ramifications of his statement. Following Peter’s statement we find a series of incidents that make us wonder just how much Peters actually believed what he had said.      In the first instance, Jesus compares Peter to Satan. Jesus tells his disciples that he is going to Jerusalem and there he will die. Peter exclaims that he will not let that happen; Jesus will not be killed. Peter is expecting great things from Jesus as the Messiah, the Son of God on behalf of Israel and he cannot fit Jesus dying into his hope for a greater Israel under this Messiah. This cannot happen, he reasons. Jesus’s response is a harsh re...

Wineskins

  Jesus comes from the Wilderness where the Spirit has driven him for testing, announcing the imminent coming of the Kingdom of Heaven. His message to the crowds calls them to repent because the “Kingdom is at hand.” The kingdom or the effective rule of God has come upon Israel and Israel’s expected response is to return to her God. A number of passages tell us the sorts of things God has against Israel or at least her leaders. They have the form of the People of God, but not the substance. He will call those opposed to him “white-washed tombs” to describe their religious and moral corruption. They look good but are dead. He calls these people to repentance, to return to “their first love,” to actually live as though they are the People of God. In another place, he will tell them that while they do well to tithe mint and cumin, they have missed the larger point of caring for people. In the judgment scene, he describes sending into a place of gnashing of teeth those who failed to gi...